


Transition

by She_Who_Only_Knows_War



Series: Clairvoyant [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: A World Where Everyone Texts, Angst, Cutting, Especially Cameron, Possibility of Triggering, Religion, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 15:05:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4353650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/She_Who_Only_Knows_War/pseuds/She_Who_Only_Knows_War
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone goes through a transition. Brooke is no different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transition

**Author's Note:**

> Alright. Part Two isn't really what I intended. Buuut it IS a good starting point for Part Three....

Maya is pestering her again about her clothes.  
Brooke finds she doesn't really care.  
Charlotte stops admiring herself in the mirror long enough to glance at them, honey-coloured eyes catching Brooke's. "I heard you and Cameron aren't friends anymore."  
She shrugs, tying her dark hair back. "We haven't been for awhile."  
"This is about Jared, isn't it?" Asks Maya. "I always knew Cameron was madly into you."  
 _It's really all about Maggie_ , Brooke thinks. _Everything is_. But honestly, she tells story after story about Maggie. Cries when she's even subtly referenced.

It's so funny that her friends of five years still don't know what goes on in Brooke's head.

Or maybe they do and they're just tired of seeing her cry.

She did that a lot until shortly after Maggie. Was never ashamed of her emotions.  
Until one day, she just was.  
And she blames them. She blames the strangers that know her sister's name, and the people she looked up to, wringing her dry.

She blames herself as much as she blames Cameron.

Her phone dings,  
 _Third rack on the left. Dead center._

The dress, when she finds it, is nice.  
 _Gonna buy it for me?_  
 _If you want_ , He replies.  
She puts it back, doesn't think anything of it again.

 

"Do you have any advice for talking to Cameron?" Asks Lily on a hot, humid Wednesday.  
Brooke bites back all the awful things she wants to say about the Seer. "If I were you, I'd just be honest and introduce myself."  
Lily is the fifth person to ask her for advice about Cameron. She can't even believe she's setting personal feelings aside for this stupid endeavor.  
But just because she's mad at Cameron, doesn't make him some villain out to undo her.  
Lily puts her hands on Brooke's shoulders, says, "He'll comfort you, if you let him."  
And Brooke, once again feels so, so alone.  
She never tells anyone what goes on in her innerworkings, always hopes somebody will understand.  
Daniel does. But Brooke just doesn't trust the older woman.

She doesn't trust anyone anymore.

 

_You don't have to_ , He sends her while she's prepping the razor. _You're stronger than this._  
 _I'm broken_. She sends. _You broke me._  
 _I can heal you, too_ , He sends.  
She shuts off her phone and just spends some alone time with her abused shaving utensil.  
She wants to believe him, really. But she's so overwhelmed with the loss and the hurt and everything unraveling and she feels frozen, torn open in such an irreparable way, she knows she'll never trust him again.

 

She goes to church, but she can't sit in the Sanctuary, can't sit through a sermon without the urge to stand and accuse someone of being a liar. So she goes, but she does anything she can to dull every note of every song. Every word of every human in the building, decides it has no value to her. She knows there's no point in going, but if she stops again, she'll stop forever.

 

Packing up is terrifying. People ask her all sorts of things and Brooke isn't sure what a good answer would be.  
But she needs this. The weight on her shoulders and the cuts on her skin and the way people senselessly treat her push her to the brink so frequently, she can't even really remember what it feels like to want to live.

She often thinks about all the places she could hide herself so no one will find her if she ends it all.  
She doesn't want anybody to see her. She doesn't want anybody to worry or cry. She just wants to go out like a snuffed candle.  
She could be with Maggie that way.  
Yes, she's leaving behind the rest of her siblings, but they've never really been hers, mostly, they just feel like she's borrowed them from a close friend. She would still die for them, she still loves them.  
But they aren't hers.

 

Months pass. And Brooke can feel a difference in herself.  
Her past, truly fades to the background - Like it was merely a dream. And Brooke is able to breathe and sleep and get out of bed a little easier.  
She can say she's okay.  
She can toy with the idea of living. Of starting fresh.

Of forgiving Cameron.

But as much as she tries, she's still so angry, all that comes out when she drafts texts to him, is hate and accusations.  
And, as much as she knows he won't take it personally, she just feels like it isn't worth it. There's nothing to say that he doesn't already know. That he didn't know a year ago.  
So contacting him is frequently thought of, but never acted upon.

And he doesn't contact her, either.

Brooke thinks he's finally figured out that she wants nothing to do with him. Wants to live her own way in the stead of his guidance.  
To think she used to rely on his sight....

She ignores the razor's call. It doesn't matter how betrayed, angry, and abandoned she feels, it's too close to work and she doesn't need anyone asking questions.

No matter how much it hurts, Brooke has decided she's going to cling to life.


End file.
